According to psychology, doing just a few daily rituals can help couples stay closer than ever and help prevent divorce. That’s not to say that these couples are perfect (spoiler alert: no one is!), but it does help keep divorce at bay. When two people put in the work and are willing to grow as they get older together, they can help sustain a happy and healthy relationship that stands the test of time. And when you practice habits often enough, they become second nature and easier to maintain.
They know that it’s okay to take a ‘time out’
If you’re getting frustrated with your spouse, rather than relentlessly trying to solve problems, taking a break can be helpful. Proximity can make things even worse when you’re driving each other crazy, and taking space is important. This can be hard, especially when you live together, but there are several ways to take a time out. You can run, head to the gym, or get outside the house to do something you enjoy, whether that’s hitting a local spot or meeting up with friends. If you can’t go outside, go to another room and read your favorite book or watch your favorite show, have a snack, or take a bath. Take advantage of the distance and practice some self-care during these moments. In a cramped space like a studio apartment, putting in your headphones can be helpful. Listen to a podcast, a song, or an audiobook. Headphones can also double as earplugs.
They don’t hold a grudge or let things fester
While it’s important to take space if you’re feeling angry and frustrated, letting an issue sit for too long isn’t good. Instead, communicate with each other about how you’re feeling. It might be something small — maybe they eat in a sloppy way or loudly slurp their drinks all the time — and it’s annoying to you. Tell them so they can try to make an effort, and you won’t get more and more irritated over time. Try not to attack the other person, as this can make them get defensive and feel attacked. Instead, calmly discuss how an action might lead to a feeling you have. They can’t argue with your feelings. Communicating well is vital for a relationship’s longevity and overall success. It can help you solve problems and feel closer to each other.
They know no one’s perfect, so they let each other off the hook sometimes
It’s not like we intentionally do things to make our partners upset with us. Sometimes, after spending years together, this happens. Things that were once cute and endearing become unbearable. But once we acknowledge that people are imperfect beings who can only try their best, it becomes easier to be more forgiving. Remember that you probably do things that frustrate your partner as well. Therefore, it’s important to cut each other some slack rather than getting worked up over every little thing.
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They pay attention to whether there’s something bigger going on
If you’re snapping at your partner all the time, it might not be about what they’re doing. There could be a bigger-picture issue. Perhaps you’re not happy at your job, you wish the two of you were intimate more often, or you’re feeling stressed out by something else. If you can take a step back to acknowledge the other things that are frustrating you, you won’t take everything out on your partner — and you’ll avoid causing damage to your relationship. Take this as a reminder to pay attention to hidden dynamics, and your marriage will be more resilient.
They make physical contact often
After spending years together in a marriage, you won’t necessarily want to rip each other’s clothes off every day. However, simple touches like a hug, holding hands, or cuddling can make a world of difference — even if you feel like they’re driving you insane. Physical contact is absolutely essential to a romantic connection. Beyond sexual intimacy, put in the effort to hug your spouse for a minimum of 10 seconds daily. This extended hug can help foster a closer connection and melt away the stress of previous arguments.
